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Rockin’ Da Blue Monday

November 14, 2011

I’m not gonna dwell to much on this disappointing fact: today’s Globe and Mail, Canada’s so-called national newspaper, contains not one single article on today’s World Diabetes Day. Nevermind that it’s a disease (if you include Type 2, which is a completely different disease from what I have but there ya go) affecting approximately one-gazillion Canadians. Nevermind that this particular World D Day marks the 90th anniversary of the discovery of insulin – a discovery proudly made in the very city the Globe and Mail is printed.

I’m gonna dwell on the fact that today’s a beautiful day, and I am in a beautiful, balanced place in my life. Today is also the one-and-a-half year anniversary of my diagnosis with Type 1, and I am proud of the woman I have become with this disease. Last night I sent a last-minute, impulsive email to a few close friends, new and old, letting them know about World Diabetes Day today. “The custom is to wear blue,” I shared. “If the spirit moves you, consider rocking your finest blues tomorrow! I know it’s not the most important cause out there to raise awareness of, but the show of solidarity and support means the world to millions.” I thanked those people for the support and love they have shown me in the past year and a half, for the ways they have each reached out and cared each in their own unique way.

I’ve known I’ve had some lingering emotions about the way my life unfolded soon after my diagnosis some eighteen months ago.  What had followed soon after my diagnosis was a crushing depression, the result probably of the massive restructuring – both pragmatic, emotional and spiritual – I had to apply to my life in the wake of this new truth in my body. That depression scared the shit outta me, and while I have recovered beautifully, and feel a strength, compassion and self-love that I had never known before my diagnosis, I acknowledge that there are still things to process from that scary time. What the hell happened? Who was I before that happened? What is left from my pre-D life that I have still yet to grieve? I tried to carve out some time this weekend to release some emotion about it. Truth is though, I’m just so content with the present that it’s hard to dig up that stuff from the past.

I will pair this contentedness with the other great gift diabetes has given me – the realization that This Too Shall Pass. Gratitude for being in a calm, happy season in my life is as necessary as the peaceful acknowledgement that this season will not endure forever. Crap is bound to hit the fan sooner or later, as is the nature of life. I hope I’ve learned how to handle hardship with grace.

So I’m gonna dwell on the awesomeness of happy seasons, and on a year-and-a-half of patience, compassion and growth. I’m gonna dwell on the beautiful people in my life, and how much I love them, and they love me (yay!). I’m gonna dwell on the awesomeness of Banting having invented insulin 90 years ago, cuz daaaaaaaym my life would sure look different if he’d decided to become an opium addict instead. And I’m gonna dwell on the many assignments I have to finish this week in time for my soon-ending first term of grad school. This program is, I’m convinced, an important piece of the particular reason I’m on this Earth.

Happy World Diabetes Day! Spread the word, or at least, hug a diabetic today. 🙂 Hugs and love, and lotsa Blue to You!!

Addendum:

I stand corrected. The Globe did indeed feature not just an article, but an entire pull-out, special section on diabetes today. I missed it, thinking it was some special advertising section, but have since reclaimed it from the recycling bin. Thank you, Globe and Mail, for taking this World Diabetes Day seriously! U rock! Give Judy Timson a hug for me, I luuuuuuuv her!!

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