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Some Wrap-Up Thoughts

August 26, 2011

So now that I fundraised the wad o’ cash for the CDA, ran the damn Half in Iceland, and am slowly recovering mobility in my calves, what comes next for this here blog?

Well, in short, I’m totes gonna keep blogging here about both diabetes and running.  But for all the stuff in between, I’ll probs flip the party back to my older, much-neglected blog.  The one I started just weeks before my pancreas kicked the bucket.  When life was oh-so-different, like WOOAAAH-so-different.

This fundraising effort/race-training began when I so desperately needed something to channel my energy to.  Having an outlet to talk about my diabetes, and thus raise awareness/inspire people to donate, probably saved my sanity more times than I could count.  When I’d be fighting back tears over frustrating numbers or crappy lows on a run, at the very least I could start wordsmithing the blog post I’d start hammering out as soon as I got home.  It kept me positive.

My life as a diabetic has changed though.  I know more diabetics now.  I know more about diabetes now.  I’m involved with advocacy groups, support groups, etc, and am more used to living with this sneaky, ever-changing disease.  Blogging sure has helped me reach out for support, and reading D-blogs over the last year has been unspeakably meaningful in helping me cope.  My faith in the importance of the diabetes-bloggosphere is enough of a reason to keep blogging here.  But the real reasons, even though I’m not trying to fundraise anymore, are simply that blogging is fun, and blabbing about diabetes is fun too.

Right now, I’m just processing this wild, wonderful, exhausting and very diabetes-centric summer.  For three months  I’ve been living out of a suitcase, accessing adventures I couldn’t have dreamed of.  But now I am tired.

My body has taken a beating, and I need some recovery-time.  Nine weeks of camp left me happy and inspired but physically exhausted, not to mention malnourished (camp food is camp food).  My insulin needs have almost doubled since June (goodbye honeymoon, you were fun while you lasted), and with that change I’ve gained some twenty pounds (watch me try to NOT freak out about my clothes not fitting).  I’ve been having tummy problems since July.  Blood sugars in the teens are becoming more and more the norm for me, and chasing them down with Lantus and Humalog shots is getting harder.

I’ve been existing in some pretty heightened emotional states, between the highs and lows of camp and the intensity of the Team D experience.  I’ve done a fair bit of crying-at-how-beautiful-life-is this summer.

But now I kinda just wanna chill, ya know?

Three months living out of a suitcase are about to come to an end.  In a bit over a week I’ll be packing up my parents’ Subaru and hauling-butt down the 401 with my kitty-kat to start a new page in glorious Kitchener, Ontario.  I’ll be starting my master’s in music therapy, a program/career I’ve been looking into for years now, and am finally plunging into.  After three liberating months being separated from my stuff, I’m ready for the movers to show up with my storage locker contents and for me to start nesting into a new home.  I am totes ready to start community-building in Kitchener.  Good gawd I’m ready to start cooking again, to haunt farmer’s markets for their fall harvest and make pots and pots of soups and boundless bowls of kale salad.  I am ready to have dishes again, and furniture, and too-many-clothes, and to look at paint chips.  And I am so, so ready to delve into my new academic program full-throttle.

Through all that, I’m thinking about what the next race will be.  I’m definitely gonna run another Half this fall – maybe two. I smell a Full-Marathon in my somewhat-near future – perhaps celebrating my two-year diabirthday with a 42k run (with my fellow-diabirthday buddy ER, nudge nudge)? Who knows.  I like the idea of marking every diabirthday with some big physical challenge.  Maybe that’ll mean hiking some crazy mountain or biking the AIDS race in upcoming years. Setting challenges for ourselves is awesome, and I’m sure I’ll take on some more stuff like this in due time.

Will I run again soon with Team D?  Maybe, but probably not for awhile.  People gave so generously to support a cause that so directly affects me.  Now I’m more interested in raising money for other causes that have nothing to do with me, for people who need it more.

It’s the least I can do.  When life is this great, and even when it isn’t, it’s the least I can do.

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